About
Hello, my name is Drixkie
Welcome to my blog: Happimess
I am a work-at-home, hands-on mom who works at a mental health non-profit org for a living and hoping to continue writing and creating art at the side.
How First-time Parenting Was for Me
I did not plan my pregnancy.
Our son was a surprise... not exactly pleasant then. Safe to say, I was an unprepared woman who happened to have just quit her job and married the father of her child who similarly quit his. It was a whole journey of figuring out how to make ends meet and understand each other - together, with a baby.
This is how first-time parenting was for us: a total mess.
Our Difficult Journey
I suffered from depression from as early as 11 years old (and would later on be diagnosed with Bipolar 2 in my late 20s). When I gave birth I was all manner of mess, and it scared me. I didn't have professional help before so I had to find different ways of coping with this new responsibility, this huge, life-changing and overwhelming parenthood. All my life I wrote on diaries, journals, so it made sense that I turned to writing. It then became blogging and then I found online jobs and tried to buy-and-sell as well.
My husband became the mom for a while until he found the career job that he's passionate about and we were able to make out the financial part of our lives. But what you get you have to give something in return. There were weeks he'd only be home for just a day or two, and there were consecutive days I worked through the night just so my husband could have his baon and pang-commute. It was the loneliest time of my life: being overworked with a baby alone in a house that needed maintaining.
Why I Write
At first I wrote for myself, I had an escape and it felt good to document my son's growth and development. Eventually, it also became a means to develop my writing skills which would help my writing career. Then I wondered what it was like for other moms out there who had no idea what they were doing and how lonely or confused or sad they must feel. So I wrote for women like me - first-time parents that just want to cope.
Our Difficult Journey
I suffered from depression from as early as 11 years old (and would later on be diagnosed with Bipolar 2 in my late 20s). When I gave birth I was all manner of mess, and it scared me. I didn't have professional help before so I had to find different ways of coping with this new responsibility, this huge, life-changing and overwhelming parenthood. All my life I wrote on diaries, journals, so it made sense that I turned to writing. It then became blogging and then I found online jobs and tried to buy-and-sell as well.
My husband became the mom for a while until he found the career job that he's passionate about and we were able to make out the financial part of our lives. But what you get you have to give something in return. There were weeks he'd only be home for just a day or two, and there were consecutive days I worked through the night just so my husband could have his baon and pang-commute. It was the loneliest time of my life: being overworked with a baby alone in a house that needed maintaining.
Why I Write
At first I wrote for myself, I had an escape and it felt good to document my son's growth and development. Eventually, it also became a means to develop my writing skills which would help my writing career. Then I wondered what it was like for other moms out there who had no idea what they were doing and how lonely or confused or sad they must feel. So I wrote for women like me - first-time parents that just want to cope.
I created Happimess to be about Fun Parenting.
Eventually life moved on and my son is no longer a baby and we can no longer do sensory plays or adventures out in the garden or the park. Freelancing became regular, remote work and depression came back, marriage fell apart, the pandemic happened and all manner of fucked up things merged together until I am back.
Here.
On this blog, because it keeps me sane. And maybe right now I am writing for myself again, maybe sometimes I write for others like me. In any case, I just want to write. And all that I have here is just finding something good, something we can work with, in the mess that life throws at you and creating something worthwhile.
This is why I write.
This is Happimess.
