All Babies are Different

10:27:00 PM

Dear Parents,

All babies are different, so try not to compare. I know it's difficult not to feel a little worried if baby seems too shy or hyperactive for your preference. It is also hard not to feel proud when baby is a milestone ahead of another kid. In truth, there is no competition, all babies are cute and charming in their own way... just like adults.

The big, and not very surprising, news is that it doesn't really matter whose baby is ahead of whose. It's because over time, each baby can grow up into a very difficult toddler, then a very challenging teen and then a growing adolescent before settling into an ordinary adult just like you and me. Some babies will grow to be scientists (a big leap, if you ask me) while others could end up as bums scrutinized by a-holes who used to be the friendliest babies in town.

In fact, it's not really a battle of which is the best baby but actually of who the best baby's mom is. Some mommies might deny this, and daddies might shush the thought off, but let's admit it:

We take credit for our babies' accomplishments because they technically can't bask in their own glory... yet.
Mostly, it's about the genes. Who has the best genes? whose genes make handsome babies or talented, if not athletic, babies? It's always a competition, because some folks have incredible height capability in their genes while others simply harness the genius gene pool. Of course, when you grow up height or genius wouldn't matter if you're a douche or worse, a mentally confused person.

So should you feel an inkling or worry to boast or be ashamed of anything about your baby, DON'T. It's not about you or your family tree or your gene pool and ancestors, it's about your baby whose wide eyes know nothing about this whole adult competition. Cherish who your baby is, what his personality is and how he deals with everyday changes and growth.

The sooner you can appreciate the disadvantages and advantages of your baby's development the better you will be able to accept him as he grows into a self-aware child. And this acceptance, understanding and support from parents will help a child cope with difficulties or personal issue. Children will handle mistakes better and therefore have a better chance to positively cope with failures, rather than being depressed.

It's not about your kid against other kids, it's about YOUR CHILD and YOU. Kids shouldn't have to grow for the sake of being socially accepted, but rather accept themselves to be socially adept. There's nowhere in the world a child can derive these good and positive social skills than his own supportive parents. And, going back to baby talk; not boasting or worrying too much about your baby's milestones against others could very well save you the time and effort which you can just use to help baby improve on his lacking skills. If anything, you don't need to rush baby, as many pediatricians and mommy sites say "Each Baby Develops Differently."

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  1. I agree. I'm so annoyed when someone opens a conversation about kids with only the intention of letting me know how better hers are or how more advanced. Or to question our parenting decisions. But I've learned to blank them out and not be too defensive. I let them make their choices and I'm free to make mine.

  2. It's hard to stop people from comparing babies and other things because they just want something to talk about. Sadly, some kids take the comments negatively and these affect their self esteem as they grow older.

  3. I think comparing your kids with others is probably one of the worst things that a parent could ever do. It definitely pays to give your kids a strong sense of self and confidence! :)

  4. I agree that babies are different. Some our easy to please and some our picky but that's what makes them cute.

  5. I am also annoyed when someone compares my kids with theirs. I got annoyed when I was compared to other kids when I was a kid. It should not be that way.

  6. I'm not a parent yet but I've experienced being compared and it is truly annoying! This is a good reminder for parents. Never force a child to be better than your amiga's child just to prove your child is better. Let them do the talking about your child and just let your child be.


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