It's true breastfeeding can be a turn-off and nightly tantrums are something anyone would give anything to live without. I wouldn't, though. I wouldn't change anything about each day with my son, even if it meant I will have to live with the stress of not knowing, worrying and plotting for the future.

If you're a fellow mom or someone who has had time with a baby, you know how beautiful it is and heartwarming to see one smile. If you're someone who has never had the honor of being in the presence of a little ball of angel, please believe me when I say: They do take the stress away. Even when the smile lasts only for a few seconds, every bit of it is ethereal and precious. Almost everything that a baby does is amusing, intriguing, interesting and exciting.

The first time my baby learned to crawl my husband and I were ecstatic. I'm not the kind of person who is easily moved but that moment when baby Miggy lunged himself forward to crawl; it got my endorphins acting. Naturally, the accomplishment of a baby (milestones, as most parents and doctors call it) is exciting to watch or experience firsthand but the smallest things they learn are even more uplifting.

I am writing now because I want to share the tiny moments I am having with my baby. These tiny moments are amazing for me, and I don't think I'll ever experience it with other people's babies. For example, the first time I saw my baby give the "sour" look was when my husband let him take a small sip from an orange. Now that I remember his face, I can't help but chuckle at my baby Miggy. He scrunched up his nose, pouted and squeezed in all his lips as though somebody's forcing a rocket ship in his mouth and his eyes became arched slits. In addition to that he kept doing the "kilig" where his small, round shoulder shuddered like potatoes in boiling water.




No matter how difficult some days get, babies always have something "funny" going on about them. One time I was grumpy and scathing, my husband steered clear from me the whole day. I was the Ice Queen of Piercing Remarks but all that melted away when I saw my baby doing a "Derp" face. He was sucking in his cheeks, ala Magnum (Derek Zoolander), and his eyes were crossed and everything while he looked up at me. I was instantly converted.




*Sigh* I don't think I'll ever trade this "consequence" with any other "could have been" or "should have been" destinies that was in line for me out there. I know that If I didn't get pregnant I would have pursued a career and practiced my arts with all my heart. I know I would have traveled and sought places no one would ever venture into. Come to think of it, not everyone would venture into motherhood. I don't feel that I've lost my essence, if anything, I think I've unlocked a different level and I must say, it is really fun.