this is my first time to set up a real blog, if tumblr isn't counted as one.. I haven't written on my journal for the past five months and I feel like it has been years.. before I gave birth to this little boy of mine, I was lost in my own world. Interpersonal, shy, introverted, whatever they call people like me; I was extremely lonesome. Now, I feel that my life has taken a sudden 360 degree turn. a flip. a sudden change in contrast. Now i feel like I flipped upside down while the world remains the same...or have I been in the wrong direction before? the wrong angle? the wrong world or point of view.. but still... i miss my old self. I lived by color, i felt through music and learned beliefs.. now I live by action, feel through speech and learn from society.. it's all very different and at the same time calming.

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