Self Care Lessons from Video Games

To begin with, I want to state that gaming is a form of self-care and replenishes energy as much as any other self-care activity out there that the world posits. Like any other hobby, gaming asks for your time, attention and effort in exchange for an experience that takes your mind off of the usual adult noise. Under the surface however, it's instilling a lot of important learnings that we rarely get to acknowledge, and that's why we're here.

The Value of Video/Online Gaming

Surprisingly, online games are not the waste-of-time, eye-damaging, violence-promoting things that some people paint them out to be. In fact, there are plenty of valuable lessons and even skills that you gain from playing online games. I honestly want to dive deeper into the benefits of online gaming, not just for entertainment but for your mental health even, but that's another whole article so I'm pausing here. Let's get to it.

July 24 is International Self-care Day (yes, I am late to the party) and while there are a lot of self-care tips and checklists, routines, what is self-care, self-care importance, etc. content out there - have we really taken a moment to ourselves to look at the parts that need tending? A fair warning, this is not your laid back self-care post, this is an article about the deeper forms of self-care we need in life. Let's see how online gaming connects, here are some lessons you learn from online game that you can incorporate into your self-care.

Prioritization

Let's start big, there's no way else to go from here but deep within. One of the most underrated acts of self-care is prioritizing ourselves and being mindful of our capacity and limit. This sets our internal script of what we say Yes and No to, whether it be work, friends, family or opportunities, and any change basically.

In most games, you have One Life, or a limited set of lives and it requires you to at least maintain one in order to finish either the level or the game. Knowing that you have this limit, it kinda pushes you into prioritization mode which puts self-preservation at the top of the list, and it makes sense. When there are no more lives left, there's nothing to play the game with.

via Gfycat

You can say the same with day-to-day life. When you've burnt yourself out, what else is left to do anything with, for others or for yourself?

I've never been more careful, calculating or patient in any game I've played before than I was when I played Cuphead. There are a lot of elements in the game that pushes you to really think about your next move, and challenges your reaction time too. In real life, it's always like that. Each choice you make sets the tone for whatever chain of reactions follow, and while that seems like the domino effect, there's always a chance to intercept and turn things around. And it takes prioritization to figure out what's important so you can act accordingly, which brings us to our next self-care lesson:

Self First Before Others

If you've ever played any co-op games, whether it's mmorpg or shooter (Overwatch? PUBG? Apex? CS?), etc. you know that there are moments where your teammates come into dire situations where your help or assistance is needed. Some of us love playing the supports, it's in our nature to help out, and most of us are simply good teammates and are ready to assist. In any case, there's the number one rule of scene safety first which can also be interpreted as self first because it requires that you're not putting yourself in any danger when you're reviving or assisting.

Why? is a question that kind of has an obvious answer: if you're dead then there are two dead people in the team and does that help your cause? Hell no. Strategy-wise, you're more useful alive and not feeding the enemy team by securing your safety first. In addition to that, your KDA ratio definitely affects your MMR, and ups your ranking in game.

via Gfycat

Mirror that in real life, when you're own mental and emotional well-being is compromised, there's a good chance that your ability to help, in a helpful way, is also compromised. It also doesn't put you in a healthy state to prioritize the needs of others because your own unmet personal needs can lead to resentment of those who do receive theirs, from you of all people. 

I'm certain you've helped so many people in spite of your own challenges and troubles, and have maintained, to an extent, good relations with them but there's this notion worth considering; that if you can help someone out in spite of your own troubles and worries, why not yourself? Don't you deserve it as much as them? Probably more.

Organize Your Inventory / Decluttering

Inventory management is heeeelll in some games, either the storage is too small or too big so you constantly have to deliberate on the value of every item you come across. It's tedious but t's necessary. Playing Diablo IV got my mind in tangles over sorting out items, aspects, sigils and what have you. Which ones should I salvage? Which ones should I sell? Do I upgrade this, do I keep that? But once you're able to determine your priorities it can become clear on which stuff to let go of or hold on to, etc.

In real-life, we compare inventory to our personal belongings, which we can also refer to at times as clutter. It can be physical clutter or the clutter of the mind. Ooooh, spicy. But yes, we keep a lot of things within our storage, internal or external, that build up over time and occupies so much space that eventually they become a burden. Since there are two kinds of clutter, let's unpack one at a time.

Within your living space, is a number of items that carry some form of value - be it sentimental or functional. Some people do have a tendency of collecting more items than necessary that could affect their well-being. This can be either because it makes the physical environment messy, claustrophobic or just triggering. There are scientific studies and philosophies on how your physical environment affects your well-being to an extent. Feng-shui anyone? After all, how can you feel at peace have a clear mind with cluttered, raggedy surroundings?

Now, on to the cluttered mind shindig. You know how we usually make mental notes of everything we have to do, and how we constantly remind ourselves of our life goals and how we do not want to be a certain way or how we are afraid of being perceived a certain way by others, and all that existential anxiety on what is this all for? There has to be some form of boundaries to how many of these thoughts we keep stored or running each day. We go back to prioritizing so we can eliminate thoughts that are not helpful.

It's easier said than done, I know this all too well, but it takes this much awareness to pull off to even try at first. And trying always helps. Organizing your internal inventory can also mean unpacking or detangling the whirlwind of thoughts and getting at the core of where they are coming from in order for you to address it and put it away, whether temporarily or permanently. This is something that's easier to do with the help of a friend or a therapist. In any case, it's upkeep that gives you a big, and significant, relief.

Ask for Help / Honest Communication

When I started playing Overwatch, it was the first time that I experienced communicating in a fast-paced, toxic, diverse environment all for the sake of a more effective team performance. This supposedly enhances the chance of winning the game, but of course we're pitting different kinds of people with different lengths of fuses. Communicating with your teammates is a mixture of toxicity, "lost in translation" and camaraderie. Nevertheless, it's human connection like no other.

Honest communication puts you in an advantage of allowing other players to take up responsibilities that you're not comfortable with or not good at, and at the same time give you an opportunity to contribute more with where you excel in. It also, most definitely, allows others to help you when you need it. I say honest communication because it still takes some level of braveness and humility to admit to others that you need help, even in a game.

Actually, asking for help is something that's normalized and is reflected well in the gaming community. Looking for a specific build? Ask for help. Wanting some tips and tricks to rank up on a specific hero? Ask for help. Need a guide to surpass an impossible level? Ask for help. The gaming community spawns countless content on gameplays, guides, tutorials, tips, suggestions and reviews for any and all gaming needs.

While they are all accessible enough, players themselves are willing to help other players because we all know what it's like to struggle through a game, we've all been there. We've all been a beginner, we've all been a noob. We all want to be able to enjoy the game in a state where we feel capable, when we get stuck, we don't necessarily ask for a cheat sheet but a small boost to keep the ball rolling because we know, we have it in our heads, "I can clear the game."

via Gfycat

I wish this kind of openness and normalization of asking for help in game is as easy and accessible in real life. It has it's own challenges, but it doesn't mean real-life help isn't available. Sometimes you just need to find the right community, person or even service provider. Being honest about the support you need or generally asking for help gives you a chance to feel a little more able. You know, that break you gotta catch, that small push, in order to find satisfaction in life again. Maybe it's not asking for help specifically that you need but simple, honest communication to either set boundaries or state what you really want or need from your job, your relationship, your family, friends or yourself.

So... there. Those are some, not all, of the lessons you learn in gaming that you can incorporate into your self-care regimen. Like I said, it's not your usual everyday self-care mini activities, gaming itself covers you on that.

Anyway, I most definitely just wanted to capture the importance of self-care while highlighting gaming as a source of such lessons. There's a whole lot more to this topic, for sure, but I hope this article helped open doors for you in terms of considering the nitty-gritty kind of self-care more and not just your usual hobbies kind of self-care.

By all means, continue the self-care activities that you do to uplift your mood and what not, just keep an open mind about deep-cleaning kind. Having laid that out on the table, tara, let's get back to the usual gaming and social media scrolling. Baboosh!