When Nothing Helps

You know those days when Nothing seems to work in your favor? Where you're all troubled and crumbling in your world but no one seems to be within reach: too busy, have problems of their own, etc.

And then while you're all disheartened and struggling, something comes up to pile up on your list of difficult things to deal with - like let's say you spilled boiling oil on your fingers - or the guy who's supposed to do your haircut exactly like the picture decided something simple and opposite is way better...

And all you want is one good thing going right.

But it never happens.

And everything keeps going downhill..

I cannot catch a fucking break.

this is for you...

B R E A T H E

You have got a lot going on, and it's fucking tiring and tough and, yes, there's no other way than forward and through it.

Keep going.

It's painful, it's frustrating, it's debilitating and it feels like it goes on forever.

It doesn't, it's bound to stop somehow. Just as things can get worse, things can get better and right now it's a streak but streaks end and there has to be a break somewhere sometime.

Keep going, but don't forget to Breathe.

Don't get lost in the shit your mind makes up to add to the nonsense that is going on around you, make your own set of go-to thoughts to help ease this hell-hole you're in right now.

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So let's list it down.

First of all, you're more than enough - you're everything you're supposed to be plus potentials. Your mistakes in the past, your relapses, those regrets you keep slipping back into... those are not you. What you do afterwards to make up for it, to move forward, to catch yourself and rebuild yourself... that's you.

When was the last time you came out of something heartbreaking or traumatizing? What did you do in response to it, in order to protect or help yourself recover? What would you say is your best self-protection/ self-care/ self-loving method is?

You've got experience and you've come out of difficult times before, probably worse, don't sell yourself short. You're a warrior in your own right and have got the kit to survive this too.

Secondly, people love and care about you. Maybe friends and family have their own thing now or are not as available as you'd like but it doesn't mean they don't give a shit. It is true everyone has their own lives, and it is easy for attention to be placed elsewhere and even easier to forget remembering a person when things are tough for you too. Don't get disheartened when you try to reach out, they may not be able to respond now but when they're ready and free they'll definitely put things down and see how you are. Can you remember the times when friends came through for you? Who are those people that responded? How do you think they'll react when they find out you're not okay and what do you think they'll say?

Your loved ones care, maybe it might take a little more straightforwardness to ask for help but that's worth giving a try, right? Give them a chance to care for you.

Third, if things are that bad it's okay to do nothing, to sleep all day, sulk and summon the darkness down on your house and kill all the light that bears hope. Some days are just not winnable, and these days also sometimes need to be lost so your body can recuperate. Your mind is tired, your body will thank you for the extra rest and sleep and if it helps to pamper yourself with all manner of comfort food, music, movies and online shopping - please do. Go for it. Cope, however way you can.

And when things get a little easier, you'll be able to move to better coping mechanisms and shift to more helpful activities. But when things are just not working and nothing helps, rest. It's okay, there's tomorrow, there's next day. Take the day/s off, turn off your phone, curl up in bed, play your melancholy playlist, cry... it's not giving up - it's simply feeling. And maybe for a while that's what your body needs, to just feel and let it all out, let the depression run its course until it wears off.

But all throughout, as you surrender yourself to the moment, remember that you are loved and that this is not permanent. This will pass. And things will feel lighter again, and easier.

You are not this. Not one bit.

So breathe...and hang in there.

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If you do feel like you need to talk to someone, anyone, and nobody you know is available (and you are in the Philippines) try calling Crisis Line, it's Free, 24/7 and can be anonymous, responders provide immediate emotional support.. here are the numbers below: