To The New Mother

As a new mother, I never knew what lay ahead of me. My own mom and my aunts told me about birth-giving and how to bathe a child, but nobody told me about how society would change before me as I become a mom. That was something I had to go through and learn on my own. I still wish I had a hint on those changes, so here are some things I want you, New Mother, to know.

People Will Judge You
It's an inevitable part of society that you will be judged for something you do, no matter what your intentions are.
Being a Mother will not excuse or protect you from such scrutiny and criticism.

If anything, there will be more expectations and compromise to be demanded from you, sometimes more often than you can change your child's diaper. People can be mean, though unintentional, and really can take a toll on your mentality. We must not let that happen. You must NOT let them get to you. Focus on your child, do your best and what you think is right. That should be your world, not others.


People Will Crowd You

It's part of the flood of changes that come with motherhood to hear a lot of "advice" and "suggestions" from people around you. Most of these "tips" will come from your own mother, mother-in-law and several female relatives, acquaintances, neighbors, etc. Some of them are golden, while others are unwanted or downright irrelevant.

It can be really frustrating to keep tabs on which advice to absorb, and how not to sound mean when all you want to do is spend your day privately with your newborn. Still, try to ask people politely to give you some space, walk away or just not visit. They will understand, if not, you don't need to be guilty or say sorry. You have the right to rest, so rest.

You Will Get Frustrated
Take note: A woman who had just given birth to a child will experience a lash of bodily chemical changes.

If pregnancy hormones have been giving husbands, moms and friends a hard time consider post-pregnancy hormones as double the trouble. It won't last more than a few weeks, but with the surge of overwhelming emotions and hormonal change, the first week will truly be extraordinary.


You May Become Territorial or Paranoid

Mothers' instincts are GREAT..and I don't mean just "Strong" or "Pure", I mean great as in "Cosmic" and full of "Force". The kind of force that is prepared to devastate when it needs to in order to protect what is vital. If you have ever seen a dog nearly tear off the fingers of its owner for trying to pet its newborn puppies, then you have an image of how a real human mom is like, metaphorically. 

If not, you might become overly paranoid, part of the protective instincts of motherhood kicking in. The sound of a loud plane will scare you, riding on a commuter's bus will scare you to death and just being around your mother-in-law just may not feel right. It's not something you can easily control, but you can tame it with the help of loved ones.

Either you become aggressive and territorial or paranoid and defensive, this is how the first few days can be like. It won't be as extreme but at least you need to be aware.

Trust Yourself Over Others

As a Mother, you should learn to trust your instincts above everyones else's. It doesn't mean you are perfect and should disregard everything well-wishers are trying to share. It simply means that when you are at a loss for what to do, you actually already know the answer. It's just there and you just need to listen to that small voice in your head and for once, just go with your gut with every good intention, care and delicacy.

The opinion of others do matter, but only those opinions that belong to people who matter to you.