Letting Dads Do the Parenting

11:02:00 PM

Letting dad do the parenting isn't always comfortable to watch for some mums because they do things soooo differently, but it's istill good for the family.

It's natural for baby to get attached to mom, be familiar with their scent and feel extra safe around her, but kids should also learn to trust others. The second best person should at least be Dad. Give Dad a chance to shine and you'll be surprised how healthy your kid may be in the future.

Dads Who are Away and Who are At Home 

In my generation, the Dads are rarely home. They work abroad and take indefinite vacations, and are not always around for their kids' birthdays or Christmases. At least that's how it was for me and most people I know. Although we know who our Dads are and what they are doing for us, we are not as close or well communicated with them like with our Moms. This is what I don't want my baby to experience. Please don't get me wrong, a Dad sacrifices his time to provide for his family is just as good as any Dad who works nearby or at home. It's just that, personally, I prefer raising a child with a physically present husband so we can build values together, so that our son can see it.

It's Regardless Whose Responsibility It Is 

I know that as a mother it's mostly my responsibility to teach my baby core values. But it would be so much better for the child to see that a contrasting parent (the Dad) has the same ideals as the Mom. With this tag-team going on, kids will know that there is unity in establishing rules and nurturing. That there is compromise, especially when it comes to implementing what is right. It is also easier NOT to fight over how to raise the baby, since at this point both parents will learn firsthand what their child really needs from them; Presence.

Advantage for the Dads and Sons 

It's also an advantage for Dads to know their kids as much as the Moms, especially with sons. Moms can only guide a son so much when it comes to masculine issues. Besides, kids tend to derive their inspiration and influence from grown-ups of the same gender. The bond between Dad and tyke becomes just as important as the bond with Mom. So, when the times comes that kids grow up into brooding teens who are constantly troubled about peers and maturity, they can seek comfort and advice from both Mom and Dad.

With a baby, a Dad who is involved in caring for the baby will develop more patience and insight on how the Mom feels. Impatience with crying episodes is actually a common quality in men. Oftentimes, Dads are unable to hush baby or comfort them mostly because they don't have enough time to observe what's wrong. In other words, they are inexperienced.

Moms, who breastfeed and are more "territorial" by nature with their child, immediately take into account the smallest detail of change in the baby's mood. Therefore, moms are more adept in decoding the cries and moodiness. Let's just say that Dads rarely are given the chance to prove themselves worthy of parenting because, well, Mom is always there to handle everything.

If Dad was a little more involved, there will be less arguments with Mom. On the first few months of a newborn baby, Moms can be quite moody, especially first-time mummies. If Dad is involved in caring for the baby enough the work load will be halved and Mom won't have to be so stressed out. Dad may finally understand how a baby can deprive you of sleep which deprives lowers your libido, patience with corny jokes and room for intimacy.

Advantage for the Moms

It's an advantage for Moms, especially working moms. While the grandparents are natural at caring for children, Dads deserve this rewarding experience more. Dads are used to fast-paced environments that are loud, manly and rough. A peek into the nurturing world could help tone down their "Herculean" attitude, which could be beneficial in raising a well-mannered kid. With the baby away or off their hands, Moms can do anything. You can start working, finally finish household chores or take a day off at the spa.

Did you also know that men are capable of a mother's touch? Its possible if they get enough practice which can only be achieved through spending more time with the baby. The more a Dad is exposed to caring for his child, the more he develops that "natural" and "motherly" kind of parenting skill. Men who have lots of nieces and nephews, aka pamangkins, are gentler with kids and know better how to handle kid-related situations: All from experience.

So, all in all, nobody really loses. It will may be difficult for some babies that have already developed a strong bond with mom. It can be rough for the baby to get used to the absence of Mom, but enough time with Dad will build trust. And just like with Separation Anxiety, there is always a way to help baby ease into the changes and be comfortable, especially with Daddy.

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